The other day I came across one of the weirdest stories of crime scene investigation, either fictional or true, I’ve ever heard, read about or seen on TV. It could be made into a terrific thriller, I doubt I could have come up with anything that bizarrely grotesque.
The story kicks off when a worried father goes over to his son’s place after he hasn’t heard from him for days and finds his son, 45, dead on the entrance hall floor stark naked. Police ruled out robbery since there was no evidence of forced entry, picked locks, or signs of struggle, no suspicious fingerprints, and nothing was missing.
Besides the fact that he was found naked was clearly pointing in a different direction. However, the father did report a big diamond ring the deceased never took off missing.
At first, coroner ruled that the cause of death was (accidental) heart failure, but after examining the crime scene it became clear that there might be more to it, so they decided to look further into the case. And that’s where a spool of oddities started to uncoil. After taking a closer look at the house, the investigators were struck by some unusual fetishes, or rather their unusual utilisation. The skirting boards in the entire house were made of left shoes. My guess is the dweller probably kept his sexual partners’ left shoes as fetish objects — he must have had droves of lovers to meet his need for raw material — or on a more macabre note, killed his partners and collected their left shoes… I wonder why it had to be the left shoes and not the right ones.
|Pile of shoes|
Apparently, this wasn’t his only fetish, though: the bathroom tiles were plastered with lacquered pubic hair which he must have personally harvested from his numerous conquests. Try picturing the workers he must have hired to do the decorating sticking the left shoes to the skirting boards, or mixing pubic hair with lacquer and slapping it to the bathroom tiles (unless the dead guy relished the process himself)! Creepy, isn’t it? Obviously, this kind of work is not for queasy stomachs.
However freaks didn’t end there. It turns out two days before his death the late Left Shoe and Pubic Hair Fetishist had a heart attack, he was taken to the hospital, but refused to stay there and instead demanded to be moved to a different hospital, namely the one where he claimed he had had a pacemaker inserted. He was discharged from the hospital that very day. There wouldn’t be anything peculiar about the incident, if it weren’t for the fact that the autopsy revealed there was no pacemaker in his heart. Why would he have lied? The simplest explanation is that for some reason he didn’t like the hospital he’d been taken to and came up with a ruse to get out of there.
What the autopsy did find was his treasured diamond ring — it was shoved down his throat, which surprisingly didn’t cause his death! Why the guy’s favourite ring ended up in his throat is anybody’s guess. One thing is for certain, he didn’t get to wash it down with liquid.
The only reasonable explanation I can think of is that the closet pervert was being robbed or extorted by one of his partners or by someone he knew after or in the middle of sexual games (given that the corpse was found naked and there were no signs of forced entry), and in a desperate attempt to protect his favourite ring he tried to gulp it down (and certainly choked), but suffered a heart attack halfway through the process most likely due to the stress.
When the victim collapsed the robber got scared and took off, and so did the partner if we assume he and the robber weren’t the same person or accomplices.
By that logic it might have, indeed, been a death by natural causes, although in queer circumstances, but the accident was triggered by an external agent.
Understandably, the absurdity of the story was too much for the police to cope with, and in the absence of substantial evidence to the contrary they concluded the poor weirdo died a natural death.
However, if we consider the murder hypothesis, with a bit of imagination the story could make for an intricate thriller plot filled with themes such as espionage, international conspiracies, crime of passion or revenge.
I'd probably start with something along the lines of assuming that he was involved in some dark affairs,(the victim ran a small business), got tortured by professionals (without leaving marks) to obtain information, money, etc; his ring was shoved down his throat as part of intimidation, which could have easily caused a heart attack; or he might have been given a substance that leaves no trace in body to provoke heart failure; the assailants could have still stolen something that police didn’t know existed.
Yet another possibility is a vengeful spurned lover who tried to take his own back.
Obviously we’ll never know the truth, but you can give your imagination free rein and throw up your own theories.
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